


Broken Souls

by junvv



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Depression, Homophobic Language, M/M, Self-Harm, Self-Indulgent, idk what i should do for tags, please dont read this abomanation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:02:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25494322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junvv/pseuds/junvv
Summary: Where Felix tries to protect and love Changbin, but does Changbin know it?(on Wattpad as well, same title)DISCLAIMER- SELF HARM, ABUSE, DRUGS, SEXUAL TENSION, STRONG LANGUAGE, AND ALCOHOL.started-2019.12.23ended-
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Kudos: 10





	1. intro.

this story was written by me (the owner of this account) and my friend.

all the characters in this book do not belong to either of us, but the story is ours.

**PLEASE DO NOT REUPLOAD THIS STORY.**

**Disclaimer-this story includes/mentions self-harm, abuse, drugs, alcohol, and offensive/strong language. if you are uncomfortable with any of these topics please don't read this! x0))))**

this story is also heavy angst. if you're emotional like me, you might need a box of tissues.

just saying

comments and kudos appreciated.


	2. i. fix you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> changbin meets felix

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXq-14lV79s

_"It doesn't matter, as long as you help me, maybe I can make it"_

•*¨*•.¸¸♪•*¨*•.¸¸♪•*¨*•.¸¸♪•*¨*•.¸

Changbin had something on his mind as he walked to school. He thought about it all the way there. He was thinking of love; how it worked, why people fell in love, and most importantly, why he could never find it. He was the only one in his class who didn't have a significant other. the only one. His black hair flowed in the wind underneath his Binnie beanie. His cheeks were red from the wind.

He had seen some people get together, then break apart. Some relationships lasted. Some didn't. The dark male closed his eye and stopped walking. The autumn leaves blew by him, cold air briskly kissing his face.

He supposed he would be like this forever, loveless and lonely. Nobody liked him. The last time someone kissed him out of his family was his ex-best friend Jisung in truth or dare, and that was on the cheek.

**_He tried to never think about Jisung, ever since the incident and what Jisung did to him._ **

Opening his now glossy eyes, Changbin continued walking.

**_Boys don't cry_ **

He had never expected to see what was at his when he returned.

_or who_

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

_At his house..._

"What the hell?"' He frowned as he crept into his room. It was a humble room, black walls, a tiny black twin-sized bed for one, and a small brown desk in the corner. The only photo in that room was of him and his aunt. There was something under his bedsheets, moving slightly. Changbin inched towards his bed, shaking. He quickly raised the covers of his bed, revealing a boy he had never seen before, curled up with a note taped to his forehead.

The note was from his old Gudetama stationary set from middle school. He was and still is a sucker for cute stationary. He kept everything from his middle school days in a locked box, how did it get out?

"Oh my god there's a cute boy in my room for no reason!", he squealed softly, blushing as he looked at the smol (tall) boy. The sleeping boy had freckles dusted on his pale cheeks, and fluffy orange-dyed hair that sat on his head pleasantly. His soft breathing filled the room, sounding like a small puppy, or someone dying.

_Dying as the breaths grew longer and longer._

**Dead when the breaths had stopped**.

 _"Take good care of Felix,"_ the note read, _"You wanted love, right?"._ Changbin furrowed his brows.

 _Where_ did Felix come from?   
•••  
 _Who_ had written the note?  
•••  
 _Why_ was he laying next to Felix?

He caught himself and edged away from the mysterious boy, who slept soundly, wrapped up in Changbin's bedsheets. He looked so cute and squishy and all Changbin wanted to do was hug him. His cute cheeks were pressed against the pillow.

Suddenly, Felix shook awake, opening his eyes and letting out a small yawn. Changbin looked at the smol male and smiled. "Hi!" Felix chirped, letting out a grin. _"Woah."_

Changbin's cheeks flushed pink. He didn't even know Felix, and he already had a crush on him. "Umm" Changbin replied. "Hi Felix".

They stared at each other for a bit. "U-uh I'll go get you some water." Changbin rushed out of the room, leaving a very awkward situation in his room.

He walked briskly into his kitchen, hiding behind the refrigerator, which smelled of ancient Chinese take out, and bit his lip. He brought his hand to his face, trying to cover the blush, as if someone was watching.

Why was his accent so cute? Why is his voice so deep?! It sounds kinda nice... it had to be... Australian? No clue. Questions swirled around his head.

Felix sat in Changbin's room, fiddling with the frayed ends of a blanket, staring at the mess. He saw something out of the corner of his eye. Was that... a bloody razor? He looked around again. Thick rope? Pill jars? Felix was disappointed with himself. He didn't come in time to stop him.

Changbin walked back to his room and set the cup of water on his nightstand, lowering himself onto the bed. "So, where are you from?" Changbin asked the younger, who was drinking his water.

Felix pauses, and points towards the cracked ceiling, "Up there." "Where, up there?" asks Changbin, confused with Felix's answer. Felix smiled sadly and whispered softly, "I'm dead".

Changbin turned pale. Felix was dead?

"What do you mean?" Changbin questioned, giving Felix a melancholy glance. His eyes stared deep into the orange haired boy's, which seemed to be full with sadness.

**_Boys don't cry_ **

"I was sent here to make people like you happy" he explained. "If I can make you happy, I can be alive again." Changbin pauses. Felix was sent to make him happy? Changbin was mindblown with the situation. A dead boy wanted him happy, and if he was happy, Felix could be alive?

"It could've been anyone, why me?" He asks. "I was sent here to help broken souls. To make them happy, because I never was". Felix fiddles with the blanket. "Why couldn't you be happy, Felix?" Changbin says, getting closer to Felix on the bed. Felix didn't budge when Changbin tried to stroke his hair. His hand went right through his head.

"Binnie hyung-" Felix starts, Changbin feels himself blush. "I killed myself. I was tormented in school, my family crashed and burned, everything was destroyed. My life was absolutely ruined. I'm here to prevent that from happening to you. To be your friend. To guide you. To maybe even love you.".

**_Boys don't cry_ **

Changbin took a breath. Felix died, this beautiful boy in front of him, died. And he wanted to protect him? From what? And how?

They sat in cold uncomfortable silence. So thick you could slice it with a knife. Or a razor. Preferably the one Changbin currently had in his room.

"Felix" Changbin said, breaking the tension in the room. "I can get you some clothes". He walked to his closet and pulled out a big sweatshirt and gym shorts. Felix took the clothing, and changed under the covers.

That's when Changbin blushed harder, realizing Felix didn't have any clothing on during their talk. Felix looked so small and delicate in Changbin's large clothes. As if he could break at Changbin's touch shattering into millions of pieces. Changbin examines the boy, noticing silver lines on his wrists and arms. "What happened to your hands?" Changbin asked.

"They're called Ghost Lines. They're scars from when I hurt myself when I was alive.-" he looks at Changbin's arms- "You'll have them when you die, too. You don't want them. I was looking around your room when you were getting water".

Changbin stared at the cuts in his arms. He would stop, for Felix. Then he looked around his room. He forgot to put away his razors after last night. It had dried blood on the edges. There was a tiny puddle of blood on the floor where he set the blade down.

Felix finished his water, and placed the cup on Changbin's nightstand. He looks at Changbin, who just happened to be checking him out still. Felix felt, for the first time in a long time, blush dust across his freckled cheeks. He turned all shades and tints of pink.

"Binnie hyung?" He asked. The older looked up"Yes?" Changbin replied.

"... could you ever love me like I love you?".

**_Boys don't love other boys_ **

♠︎end of update one♠︎

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1296 words
> 
> Edited: December 23, 2019 3:20 P.M.
> 
> comments and kudos appreciated.


	3. ii. the scientist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "...why don't you love me back?"

https://youtu.be/s70OsXlDD94

 _"You can break me and I won't even care. I'm yours to torture"_  
•*¨*•.¸¸♪•*¨*•.¸¸♪•*¨*•.¸¸♪•*¨*•.¸

"Y-you love me?" Changbin stuttered, startled. They had just met, though he couldn't deny the fact that Felix was so adorable and he wanted to put him in his pocket, it was a little... Weird.

"Yes" Felix stared at Changbin's wrists. They were littered in scars and fresh cuts. "I was allowed to choose who I wanted to help. I chose you because you've been through what I've been through. Parents divorce, backstabbing best friend, people ganging up on you, being all alone. I don't want you dead like me. I want you alive, healthy, and strong. And happy. I want you to achieve your dreams and experience the good things in life. I want you to be what I was not."

Changbin looked into Felix's eyes. His eyes sparkled like the stars in the night sky. The deep brown orbs swallowed him whole, Changbin getting lost in them.

"If you want me to be happy, could you get me with Minho?" Changbin shyly asked Felix. Felix turned pale. Even though he loved Changbin with all of his heart, if he was happy with Minho, that would make Felix happy... Right?

The younger thought for a while. What was Felix going to do once Changbin was with Minho? He told the older that he loved him.

**_Why didn't he love him back?_ **

"Okay," Felix concluded. "I can get you with Minho, if you will be happy". Changbin's eyes lit up. He liked Felix, he was cute and all, but he loved Minho.

Changbin smiled softly.

_Felix knew at that moment, he would do everything in his power to make Changbin happy._

**_Even if it meant hurting himself._ **

♥︎˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚♥︎  
 _The next day..._

Felix followed Changbin to school. Nobody could see him because he was dead, so he could be with Changbin for the entire day. He took some of Changbin's clothes and put them on before leaving. When Changbin's protecter walked out of the older's bedroom, Changbin gasped. The younger had picked out a pair of ripped jeans, black combat boots, a red beanie, and an extra large school sweatshirt. Felix looked extra smol in it.

"Repeat the plan so I know you know what you're doing." Changbin asked, well more like commanded Felix, who nodded slightly. "The plan is to find Minho, record any mentions of you in this notepad, bring it back to you, then find out when he's free" Felix recited with no hesitation.

"Do you have the notepad and pencil?" The dark-haired male questioned. Felix pulled out the Gudetama mini stationary set. Changbin had taken it out of the box that was buried deep into his closet. "Yep!" He smiled, popping the "p", which Changbin thought was hella cute, making his heart go boom boom. More like atomic bOmb.

**Boys don't love other boys**

Felix put back the stationary set in his backpack; Changbin's old Apeach bag from middle school. Even though the emo boy seemed emo through and through, he couldn't hide his squishy uwu middle school years. He might have stayed a soft boy in high school and college, if a certain boy hadn't ruined his life when he least expected it.

♦︎*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*♦︎  
 _at school..._

Felix crept into Minho's classroom. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a small photo of Changbin's crush, a selca from instagram, and Felix had to admit even though he loved Changbin, the dude was ethereal. Minho was holding up a peace sign to his face and smiled cutely in the photo.

(Photo reference)

The Australian boy glanced around the room and saw him in the back of the class, reading "How to Pamper A Cat".

Felix sauntered through some unknowing kids to Lee Minho, who was submersed in his book. Felix saw, out of the corner of his eye, a boy approaching Minho. The unknown boy placed his hands on Minho's desk and pressed his forehead on his. "Hi Sungie!" Minho smiled, giving 'Sungie' a peck on the cheek.

Felix dropped his gudetama stationary set. Minho wasn't single?

The cute pens rolled all over the floor, and note paper embellished with the lazy egg icon flew in all directions.

Felix felt a horrible pain come from his wrists. It was because Changbin was going to hurt himself when he finds this. Felix knew who Sungie was now.

Jisung.

♠︎end of update 2♠︎

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 744 words
> 
> comments and kudos appreciated.


	4. christmas update (2019)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just christmas with changlix.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was written and updated back in 2019 but I'll update it here anyways. enjoy.

Whalien 52-https://youtu.be/o1wuiLF04Rg  
Adore-https://youtu.be/uts3ewsaRPM  
*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.

Felix ran down the empty sidewalk, turning back to look at Changbin. "Hurry up!" Felix shouted playfully, naruto running.

Changbin rolled his eyes watching him dash down the road, his long scarf flowing in the gusts of wind. It was a chilly winter day, and they were going to go shopping at the mall. A new LINE Friends store had opened, and Felix was ecstatic.

Changbin's cheeks were pink with the cold, and his breath was visible in the air. There was no snow yet, but he could feel it coming. They ran past the park, it's frozen pond trapping koi under the ice. It was dropping willow trees and a faded red bench. Changbin would often come there and rap for money, under the name SpearB.

It was a short distance from his house to the mall. He only had to run down the hill where his house was, and on the flat ground sat the mall, as well as other assorted shops and businesses. When he got there, Felix looked up at the sign for the store and stood practically drooling for ten minutes until Changbin arrived. His eyes lit up and he was hopping up and down. His smile was brighter than the stars.

He didn't even look dead.

Changbin bought him things at the store, and with each purchase, Felix felt his giddiness skyrocket. He had gotten so many things, merchandise galore.

They wandered in the mall, still decked out in full winter gear. They had found a Hot Topic, where Changbin blew almost all my life savings of money on just tee shirts. He made a lot of money from traveling to rap, going to clubs, and performing in local shows.

They had found a water fountain, and decided to take a rest. Felix started rummaging in his bag to examine his purchases. Well, Changbin's purchases.

Across the fountain was a bakery, and they grabbed some hot chocolate. Felix got a foamy whipped cream mustache, making Changbin laugh as he tried to lick it off. He looked so delicate in Changbin's old pink puffer jacket and Bad Badtz-Maru beanie. His Molang gloves made it hard to grip the mug.

"Felix?" Changbin called, grabbing the bags of clothes, food, and whatnot. The boy in question turned around sipping his hot chocolate. "Yes hyung?"

"Uh... this is for you," Changbin shyly held out a small gift bag.

Felix's eyes lit up. "Changbin-hyung! You didn't have to do this" he giggled. Taking the small bag into his hands, The younger gasped. In his hand held a necklace with a heart-shaped pendant, carved with Felix's and Changbin's names.

"BINNIE THANK YOU SO MUCHHH!" Felix squealed, pulling the boy in a bear hug.

The older smiled. He wished every day could be this fun. He knew it might never happen, but maybe if he wished hard enough, it could.

Miracles can come true, right?

♠︎Christmas update end ♠︎

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 528 words
> 
> comments and kudos appreciated.


	5. iii. baby don't cut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> felix is devastated. what will changbin do when he finds him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize for the short chapter. there will be a longer one next time.

https://youtu.be/O5vuZW488DA

 _"I know you mean no harm, but sometimes love hurts me the most."_  
•*¨*•.¸¸♪•*¨*•.¸¸♪•*¨*•.¸¸♪•*¨*•.¸

**!!!BLOOD AND SELF-HARM WARNING!!!**

At home, Changbin laid on his bed. Felix wasn't home yet. Where could he be? It wouldn't take too long to find out Minho's schedule right?

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. It was Felix.

"Where were you- Oh my gosh FELIX WHAT HAPPENED!" Changbin frantically asked.

Felix was shivering cold, hot blood streaming down his arms. There were so many cuts on the younger's arms. Too many to count. Felix's face was pale, tears streaming down his cheeks, suddenly, he collapsed on Changbin.

Changbin's eyes widened, and he rushed Felix to his bathroom as soon as he fell. Tears blurring the older's eyes, he rummaged through his drawers to find some disinfectant and gauze.

The cuts were deep in Felix's arms, and although he was dead, he came back as a ghost/human, if he died again, he would be gone forever.

Felix shut his eyes tight to keep the tears from flowing as Changbin hustled to clean his wounds, wrapping them tightly with gauze to stop the bleeding. His hands were coated with deep, dark blood.

There was too much. Too much blood. Soft shallow breaths from Felix and Changbin's gallons of tears was the only thing anyone of them heard.

Felix couldn't die. He was supposed to protect Changbin right? The latter was supposed to be his savior.

The red liquid seeped through the gauze, and Changbin's sobs echoed off of the bathroom walls. Felix's limp body laid on his lap, which were soaked in blood. Changbin rushes to wrap up the wounds again.

He was determined to save him.

The bleeding stopped, but not before it spread all over the bathroom. It looked like a gory murder scene.

Changbin has never cried like this. They had only met yesterday, but his connection to Felix was so strong, like they were meant to meet.

_Destiny was to blame._

**_Or was it?_ **

Felix's eyes opened. His bloodstained mouth croaked "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Changbin I did everything I could but I hurt myself." Their cries flooded the room. Tears gushed from Changbin's eyes.

"D-DON'T DO THAT TO ME EVER AGAIN" Changbin bawled. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS".

Felix smiled weakly. "For you I'd do anything. I would die all over again. What I saw today would hurt you, so it hurt me harder. You're like a part of me, Binnie".

Changbin wondered what Felix saw for him to become like this. The shorter of the two didn't question him, the older was too shaken up.

The cries increased in volume, salty tears mixed with blood.

**_Boys shouldn't cry, they get punished for that._ **

♠︎end of part 3♠︎

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 468 words
> 
> comments and kudos appreciated.


	6. iv. can't help falling in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> party time with the boys. what happens after the party?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jiho is a random character I made up to replace Woojin.

https://youtu.be/npwHNcGqueE

 _"If I did something crazy for you, would you love me? I'm getting a bit desperate"_  
•*¨*•.¸¸♪•*¨*•.¸¸♪•*¨*•.¸¸♪•*¨*•.¸

The next day, Felix and Changbin stayed home. To get their minds off of yesterday, they binged Love by Chance and Rookie Historian all day.

Felix was curled up on Changbin's chest. He could feel the heat creeping up onto his face.

"Some friends of mine are coming over at 20:00 and we're heading to a club. You can come if you'd like," Changbin said, breaking the silence.

"Sure," Felix replied, "I kinda wanna meet your friends anyways." "Do you have anything you want to wear there?" asked the taller. "No, I'm fine with one of your sweatshirts."

"Hey, could you explain these forms you have? I'm honestly so confused with all this stuff. I mean, I've never lived with a ghost before" Changbin asked the latter.

"I have a ghost form and a visible form. Ghost form only you can see and touch, and visible form you can't feel unless it's a clothed area. So when I'm in visible form, I need gloves, a mask, and other clothing to keep your hands going right through my body" Felix replied. "Does that help?"

"Oh okay, cool, I was getting super confused," Changbin called back, finding an outfit for the club later. He picked out an all-black outfit (no surprise :0), and a red sweater for Felix, accompanied by Changbin's favorite black windbreaker.

♪(*^^)o∀*∀o(^^*)♪

at 23:00 

"WheEeeEee!!!!" hollered Changbin, who was playing ring-around-the-rosie with a very drunken Hwang Hyunjin. Seungmin had decided to go take a nap on the floor, Chan and Jiho were cuddling cutely on a couch, and Felix was spectating the chaos in front of him. Drunken Changbin made him feel his crush on him multiply by 1000. The club was dark and crowded with people, and it was hard for Felix to navigate through the sweaty bodies. "I think we should go," Felix yelled over the music to Chan and Jiho, who hadn't drunk anything. "See ya" they replied, as Jiho gave a cute peck on his boyfriend's cheek.

Felix grabbed the intoxicated boy and pulled up his face mask. They headed towards the door, which was hard to do because drunken millennials don't like to move. Changbin looked at Felix, his cute face, his gloved hand gripping his sweaty one, his kissable lips hidden under a mask. This part of him, the part that was thinking of Felix, was the least drunk part of him.

They got closer to the door, and Felix saw something right in front of the door, of all places. Jisung and Minho in a heated make-out session, hands in each other's hair.

Felix secretly wished that was him and Changbin, but he knew it would never happen.

**_Boys don't love boys._ **

"Fuck," the ghost whispered. He hoped Changbin was too drunk to notice the lustful lovers in front of the door, and he was. All Changbin was thinking about was Felix, not Minho, not Jisung, nobody but Felix.

He hastily ushered Changbin out the door of the club, where Changbin grabbed Felix by his wrists. "W-what are you doing?" Felix's voice quivered, and he felt the heat rise up to his cheeks.

Changbin pulled his face closer and closer to him, each second passing feeling like an hour. "Changbin what are you doing you're drunk-"

Changbin kissed Felix.

Even though it was through the mask, Felix could feel Changbin's lips move against his covered ones. His heart was beating out of his chest as he turned into ghost form so only Changbin could see and touch him. He lowered his mask and had his first kiss.

He had never kissed anyone before, but Changbin was a natural. Felix tried moving his lips like Changbin was, Changbin grabbing Felix by the waist, pulling him closer. It was pure magic.

Felix never wanted it to end.

He wished he were alive so he could experience it the way Changbin could.

_He regretted dying_   
_•••_   
_He regretted everything_   
_•••_   
_Just for this one kiss._   
_•••_

♠︎end of update 4♠︎

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just first kiss (if you would call it that) things.
> 
> 695 words
> 
> comments and kudos appreciated.


	7. v. magic shop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what happened with jisung and changbin?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDK32k8kDaQ

_"I wish I could have been there for you, steal your razors when you cried"_

•*¨*•.¸¸♪•*¨*•.¸¸♪•*¨*•.¸¸♪•*¨*•.¸

**WARNING! HOMOPHOBIC SLURS AND STRONG LANGUAGE**

That morning Changbin thankfully didn't remember anything from the night before, to Felix's delight.

All he had was a massive hangover.

Felix grabbed Changbin's clothes and, although resentfully, sent him to school. After that, Felix laid on the couch, looking at the mess of Changbin's room. Papers everywhere, clothes scattered around, a total disaster. So, Felix decided to take action.

Changbin had told him that he could use the money in his closet for special occasions, so he shoved a wad of bills inside a wallet, made himself a bag with an Inkigayo sandwich, and a Yakult, the leaving to catch a 15-minute train to Gangnam.

A while later, Felix was back on the train after buying supplies. Felix looked over his items. There was a Kero-kero-keroppi paper organizer, a Cinnamaroll pencil case, Hello Kitty drawer organizer sets, and a Bad Badtz-Maru package of letter paper.

Felix smiled. He was satisfied with his work.

Suddenly, a shadow loomed over him. He looked up at the face of Han Jisung. The one and only. 

"Who are you, and what have you done to Changbin." He sneered coldly. "I d-don't know what you mean" Felix stammered. "Huh," Jisung scoffed, disgust dripping from his words, "leave him alone. He's my punching bag, find another hoe to beat".

_"Hey, Sungie!" Changbin said, smiling wide at his best friend. He was wearing a bright blue shirt with cute Pokémon on it. His smile was practically gushing with affection for his best friend._

_**Boys aren't cute.** _

_Jisung shot the cheerful boy a stone-cold glare. Knives were practically being thrown out of his irises._

_Changbin turned pale. What had happened to Sungie? His very best, only, and best friend "forever", was giving him the meanest glare._

_"Squirrel, are you okay? You want a Binnie hug?" the cheery boy laughed._

_"You know what, Changbin?" Jisung said flatly. "Stay away from me. You're disgusting, stupid, and gayer than gay." Tilting his head sideways, Changbin furrowed his brows. Wasn't Jisung gay as well?_

_"It's okay to be queer, Sungie, love is just love, and love has many forms!" Changbin said, smiling shakily, holding back cascades of tears._

_"My love for you, Changbin," he spat out Chnagbin's name like it was trash, "is nonexistent. You are disgusting. I don't even want to look at you!"_

_Changbin couldn't hold back the tears. They pooled in his eyes and finally escaped its dam, flowing like waterfalls. "W-why would y-you do this to me?!" he sobbed, breathing quicker and choking out his sadness. The boy was on his knees, hysterical._

_Jisung looked at his friends boredly, seemingly showing no remorse for his actions, who had come over to surround Changbin as he cried._

_Changbin thought he saw a shred of sadness and fear. His eyes showed a side of the boy that he had never seen before._

_Almost as if he was pleading for help._

_**Almost as if he was pleading for Changbin to save him.** _

_But it quickly left, as it was, of course only a figment Changbin's imagination and the younger's expression remained stoic._

_**"Beat the f*g up"** _

_•{flashback end}•_

♠︎end of update 5♠︎

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 540 words
> 
> this is the end of my update spree, but there will be updates coming every week. thank you for reading so far.
> 
> comments and kudos appreciated.


	8. .

i'm sure you've heard what happened with Woojin.  
i will be removing him from story.


	9. vi. promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> meet aunt Joohyun.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFeT8k2WTOQ

_"Any bullet shot at you, I'd take with a smile."  
•*¨*•.¸¸♪•*¨*•.¸¸♪•*¨*•.¸¸♪•*¨*•.¸_

Changbin sent Felix to monitor Minho again today. Felix never revealed the truth about what happened. He couldn't bring himself to do it. Just thinking about it made the Ghost Lines in his wrists burn.

Like they were wrapped in flames.

Felix begrudgingly stomped into Minho's classroom. There he was, in the back of this room, holding someone.

Jisung.

Felix's heart hurt. He had to lie to Changbin, to try his hardest to keep him safe. He didn't want Changbin dead. He wanted him alive.

He felt his eyes get heavy. Wet tears began to form in his empty brown eyes. His lips quivered and shook.

Mere moments later, he was sobbing on the floor. Nobody was there for him when he needed it. He would be there for Changbin. But he didn't know how long.

He had made a deal. He signed away his soul to visit Earth, to help Changbin. He only had a month. If he ran out of time, he would be gone forever, his soul-shattering.

_Shattering...  
Breaking...  
 **Gone.**_

･:*+.\\(( °ω° ))/.:+ 

_with Binnie Bub_

Nobody paid attention to Changbin. He was always alone, with no friends, not even family to come home to.

His mom left his dad after the baby was born, never to be seen again. She had taken all the money, leaving them broke. She was shot at a mass shooting a week after. The woman had left Changbin's father alone, with a young child.

Changbin's father couldn't handle it and died of pneumonia 1 year after Changbin's birth.

He was left with his aunt Joohyun, whom he loved dearly. She understood him, taught him everything he knew.

 _"When I feel like crying,"_ she told him. _"I do a handstand so the tears can't fall."_

She had married a man who always drank, who died just a month after their marriage from poisoning in his beer.

Joohyun always told young Changbin that regular families are close, but broken ones are closer.

Changbin didn't even have a family. What did that make him?

Joohyun was murdered by her late husband's friends, who thought she had killed him.

Changbin was 16 years old.

Changbin has never known the luxury of a big house. It was only a small house, with things that needed serious work. It was Joohyun's old house.

Changbin didn't have a car. Changbin didn't have a pet. Changbin had barely even food.  
The only reason he had food was that the old woman who runs the grocery store gives him a basket of food for the week. Only if sales are well though.

Joohyun always told him that one day he would be famous, rich, and loved. He could achieve anything, and he would be successful. Changbin felt as if he was letting her down.

Changbin always felt like a letdown. To Jisung. To Joohyun. To his teachers. But not to Felix.

_Never to Felix._

**Boys don't cry**

**Boys don't cry**

**Boys don't cry**

♠︎end of update 6♠︎

550 words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize for the late update. 
> 
> thank you for reading, kudos are always appreciated.


	10. vii. let you down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung is suffering dearly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbHbTBP_u7U  
 _  
_

_"Everyone needs help, you just need a whole lot more."_

•*¨*•.¸¸♪•*¨*•.¸¸♪•*¨*•.¸¸♪•*¨*•.¸

**Warning! Sexual references, abuse, strong language, homophobic slurs, and depressing subjects**   
_Please don't read if you're uncomfortable with these topics_

Once Felix began to cry, he couldn't find a way to stop. It was like infinite amounts of tears were going to waterfall out of his eyes and would not stop until everyone drowned in them.

He tried wiping his tears with Changbin's sweatshirt, but even after the sleeves were soaked, there were more tears to come.

They slid down his freckled cheeks, down his neck, wetting his shirt. His Ghost Lines were pulsating with pain, becoming almost unbearable. Felix's arms fell limply at his sides.

Suddenly, a hand pushed back his hair and patted him on the back. Felix looked up with bloodshot eyes.

A boy with red hair, a soft smile, cute braces, and a sunny disposition stood in front of Felix. His sympathetic gaze bore into the latter's heart.

Who was thisboy? How could he see him? How could he touch him? Most importantly, _why did he care?_

"It's okay," the unknown boy said comfortingly, "I won't hurt you. My name's Jeongin," the boy, who Felix now knew as Jeongin, put his arm over Felix's shoulder, "What's wrong?"

The orange-haired stared at the red one. "I-I just try m-my hardest to k-keep him safe. I just c-can't anymore!" He sobbed, continuing to wipe away tears.

The latter held Felix close to his chest, letting Felix cry in his shoulder. Felix put his chin on Jeongin's shoulder and breathed lightly on his neck. He smelled like... like carbon monoxide. _A/N-Carbon monoxide is an odorless, colorless gas, which can cause sudden illness and death, is produced any time a fossil fuel is burned._

"A-are you a spirit, too?" Felix murmured, softly trembling. His eyes were wide open, his tears flowing on to Jeongin's shirt.

"Yeah, but the person I was protecting fell in love, but not with me. So I wander alone to find someone to protect," he replied, patting the petite boy on his back.

"Who were you protecting?" Felix asked curiously. What if that happened to him? Wandering while Changbin and fucking Lee Minho had their shitty fake love.

No. He shouldn't think like that. Changbin should love who he wants to. He's not forced to love Felix. But still, why Minho when you can have and orange-dyed Australian snacc? More like a motherfucking five-course mEAL.

"It was a boy that I loved," Jeongin answered, smiling sadly. "His name was Chan. Bang Chan."

Felix recognized him. It was Changbin's friend from the club!

"But," the younger continued, "he found Jiho, and now they're together. I'm happy for him. I wish I could say the same for myself though."

Felix sighed. He would support Changbin with anything worth supporting, but unlike sweet, kindhearted Jeongin, he almost wanted Changbin for him. For Changbin to love him. Not a despicable man who kisses Jisung.

Not Crusty and Crusty Junior.

**JISUNG**

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath, placing my hands over my head. The door to my room slammed violently. He's going to kill me this time. Sobbing silently, I continued to hide in the closet. Why did I say that? Now he knows I'm dating Minho. Oh gosh. "JISUNG YOU LITTLE SHIT, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" yelled a very drunk and angry man, who happened to be Jisung's father, "WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT DATING AND HAVING FRIENDS?!" He heard a beer bottle slammed into a wall. "What is he going to do to me this time?!" the young boy thought to hope that his father would just pass out before finding him. He flinched as he heard his room being ransacked. "What did I do to deserve this? I just want to leave this hellhole..."

(='∀｀)人('∀｀=)   
_Jisung's past..._

_"F**got!" his dad called. Jisung dragged his aching body to the site of the sound. He was beaten all over, a cut over his eye where a beer bottle had shattered. The cut was an ugly blackish-magenta and bleeding._

_His father had friends over, all of them young, rich, and 100% wasted._

_"F**got!" he called again, smashing a bottle by throwing it next to Jisung's head. Jisung didn't even flinch, he was so used to it already._

_Jisung forced himself to go to the table. "Sit over there," his father barked, pointing to one of the men's laps, who had to be in his early twenties. The man was attractive, but to an extent, because he was drunk, and like the rest of the men at the table, red as a tomato._

_The man handed Jisung's father a bill, which meant the man had paid for Jisung to do something to him. The smell of cigarettes and alcohol filled the room._

_"Lap dance" the man whispered into Jisung's ear, making him shift uncomfortably._

_This went on almost every night. His father would either have a party, or go to someone's house, and bring Jisung to be his money-making toy boy. He only had Monday to sleep and get ready for the next horrible day. It started when Jisung was 13, not even legal age._

_The only reason his father kept him alive was to make loads of cash off of him. He would bring him to clubs, $100 for a 5-minute blowjob. People were so drunk, they would pay the price. Every club sale made almost $2500._

_His father, when he was young, made sure to keep Jisung thin, starving him almost, made sure to get him in tip-top shape for as soon as he started 8th grade, around the time he had to stop being friends with Changbin, was when Jisung's life spiraled downwards._

_His father had always hated the fact that Jisung had friends, so he made him beat up every single one. Jisung kept Changbin a secret, until, his father saw him talking to him out in the street._

_That's why Changbin got the worst punishment. Because Jisung tried to protect him. He tried hard, but just not hard enough._

_At 18 years old, Jisung was forced to join strip clubs, and perform for shallow, disgusting people he didn't even know. The other toy boys and girls that were sold into the business stuck together. They helped each other when things got rough._

_They even tried to get one girl, Sowon, to escape, but one of the employees at the club saw her. Because she was a popular toy girl, she would only have to suffer 3 full days at the club with no sleep._

_Jisung was suffering._

_Suffering in complete, total, silence._

_And nobody knew._

_**Nobody** **cared.**_

♠︎end of update 7♠︎

1176 words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading
> 
> kudos are always appreciated.


End file.
